Posted by Brittany Durgin
Worcester’s Director of Economic Development Tim McGourthy had City Councilors rhyming for Google Tuesday night. At the end of the City Council meeting, each councilor recited a verse of McGourthy’s self-prepared Woo-gle spoof of Dr.Seuss’ The Grinch. Read the incredibly entertaining rhyme below while imagining Mayor O’Brien and State Rep. candidate Joff Smith singing it in the chamber.
Down in Woo-ville
Liked Google a lot…
But some grinches,
(No doubt from the suburbs)
Those grinches hated Google! The whole Google search!
Now, please don’t ask why. They might just be jerks.
It could be that their heads were not screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that they Yahoo!ed all night.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their bandwidth was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason,
Their heads or their Yahoo!,
Their ENIACs chugging, they hated the Woo.
Staring down from Alta Vistas with a sour, grinchy frown
At the buzzing computers below in Woo-town.
For they knew every Woo down in Woo-ville beneath
Was busy preparing to surf at gnarly speeds.
“They’re expanding virtual borders!” they snarled with a sneer.
“The future is coming! It’s practically here!”
Then they growled, with their grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“We MUST find a way to block Google from coming!”
For, tomorrow, they knew…
…that Google would Woo-gle!
With drills-conduit-fiber, the whole kit and caboodle.
All those grinches, with dial-up, would be totally bamboozled!
For on the information superhighway, the first exit would be Woo-ville!
Then the Woos, young and old, would sit down to surf.
And they’d surf! And they’d surf!
And they’d SURF! SURF! SURF! SURF!
They would start on Woo-trivia or invent a Woo-First!
With their colleges and woo-versities they could cover the earth!
They’d do something those grinches liked least of all!
Every Woo down in Woo-ville, the tall and the small,
Would sit close together, with internets ticking.
They’d sit hand-on-mouse. And the Woos would start clicking!
They’d click! And they’d click!
AND they’d CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!
As those grinches (stuck with Bing) contemplated life without Google
The more they thought, “We must stop this Woo-thing!
“For nearly three hundred years we’ve put up with it now!
We MUST stop Woo-ville from winning!