City Councilors get down for the cause

Posted by Brittany Durgin

Worcester’s Director of Economic Development Tim McGourthy had City Councilors rhyming for Google Tuesday night. At the end of the City Council meeting, each councilor recited a verse of McGourthy’s self-prepared Woo-gle spoof of Dr.Seuss’ The Grinch. Read the incredibly entertaining rhyme below while imagining Mayor O’Brien and State Rep. candidate Joff Smith singing it in the chamber.

Every Woo
Down in Woo-ville
Liked Google a lot…

But some grinches,
(No doubt from the suburbs)
Did NOT!

Those grinches hated Google! The whole Google search!
Now, please don’t ask why. They might just be jerks.
It could be that their heads were not screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that they Yahoo!ed all night.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their bandwidth was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason,
Their heads or their Yahoo!,
Their ENIACs chugging, they hated the Woo.
Staring down from Alta Vistas with a sour, grinchy frown
At the buzzing computers below in Woo-town.
For they knew every Woo down in Woo-ville beneath
Was busy preparing to surf at gnarly speeds.

“They’re expanding virtual borders!” they snarled with a sneer.
“The future is coming! It’s practically here!”
Then they growled, with their grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“We MUST find a way to block Google from coming!”
For, tomorrow, they knew…

…that Google would Woo-gle!
With drills-conduit-fiber, the whole kit and caboodle.
All those grinches, with dial-up, would be totally bamboozled!
For on the information superhighway, the first exit would be Woo-ville!

Then the Woos, young and old, would sit down to surf.
And they’d surf! And they’d surf!
And they’d SURF! SURF! SURF! SURF!
They would start on Woo-trivia or invent a Woo-First!
With their colleges and woo-versities they could cover the earth!

They’d do something those grinches liked least of all!
Every Woo down in Woo-ville, the tall and the small,
Would sit close together, with internets ticking.
They’d sit hand-on-mouse. And the Woos would start clicking!

They’d click! And they’d click!
As those grinches (stuck with Bing) contemplated life without Google
The more they thought, “We must stop this Woo-thing!
“For nearly three hundred years we’ve put up with it now!
We MUST stop Woo-ville from winning!
…But HOW?”


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7 responses to “City Councilors get down for the cause

  1. That even (mostly) scans. Nice one, Tim.

  2. What a bunch of tools! The web spinners at Google are laughing AT you idiots, not WITH you. They’ve even turned the city government into a circus sideshow, literally begging for them to consider worcester a worthy place to cum to.

    I’m a fan of the opposing viewpoint that’s not being covered by any local media whatsoever.

  3. And, as for your dust speck…hah!
    That we shall boil
    In a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut Oil!”
    “Boil it?…” gasped Horton!
    “Oh, that you can’t do!
    It’s all full of persons!
    They’ll prove it to you!”

    “Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!” Horton called. “Mr. Mayor!
    You’ve got to prove that you really are there!
    So call a big meeting. Get everyone out.
    Make every Woo holler! Make every Woo shout!
    Make every Woo scream! If you don’t, every Woo
    Is going to end up in a Beezle-Nut stew!”

    And, down on the dust speck, the scared little Mayor
    Quick called a big meeting in Woo-ville Town Square.
    And his people cried loudly. They cried out in fear:
    “We are here! We are here! We are here!”

  4. Scott

    Epic douche chills

  5. How wrenchingly painful and embarrassing to think these people perceive themselves as being funny. That’s not funny it’s demeaning to the city’s image and its citizens.

    Funny how they go out of their way to make public asses of themselves in order to seduce Google, but couldn’t bring themselves to do anything creative to convince Berkeley to follow through.

    Welcome back BA!

  6. Pingback: What is it with Worcester and Dr. Seuss? | Worcester

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